A little bit of heartache

Often times throughout the day I think of you. Mostly random thoughts like when you used to say your name was Carson Thomas the train or you showing me how Rodney (the ram) got you maybe even your toe nails being painted Sometimes I feel strong and those memories make me so happy. Other times they make me tear up and cry. My most commonly asked question these days is “How is your sister doing?” I love hearing it. It makes me realize how many people care about mom, dad, Cade, Kenzie and Cody.
For those of you who follow this memorial page I would like to update you on how I (as a sister) see they are doing. They have had a rough hand given to them the past while, sometimes it doesn’t seem fair. Not just with Carsons passing and Boyds appendicitis but little everyday things that can happen to us all like the dryer going out, septic tank problems, dogs passing away and cows getting out to name a few. However through it all they are strong. Strong can be mistaken for many things. When I use the word strong I mean they endure each day. They get out of bed, Boyd works, Nicole gets up, gets the kids to school, cleans house, laundry, cares for Cody and occasionally makes it to the store. Strong doesn’t mean she doesn’t ever crawls back into bed and cry that same day. Strong means she gets back out again and pushes forward after she has had that good cry. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t look at other kids his age and think about Carson starting preschool in the fall with them and cry about it but it means she knows he’s busy doing other work, the Lords work. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t ever question “why them?” She does know that our Heavenly Father has his hand in all things.
As for Cade and Kenzie they are amazing kids. They have rough days/hrs too but push forward with amazing friends and families who have helped them along their way.
Thank you all for helping them. For all those who are so willing to step in and give a helping hand. I am ever so grateful for all of you. We all miss Carson. Our heartaches but we move and push forward. As Memorial Day approaches my heart hurts because never in a million years did I ever think I would be visiting my nephew’s grave. We are making it a fun day as we did for his birthday. There is no other way to do it.